Sunday, December 8, 2013

Cave Rules

Bras, underwear, and socks must all be bright colors.  This is to make it easier to find them in the pile of black clothes draped over the back of a chair.

Junk mail may pass over the threshold, and go no further.  There is a trash can next to the front door.  I don't care if it's tacky, so is junk mail on every flat surface of this house.

No switching purses.  That's how lipstick and inhalers disappear (4 months AWOL).  Nobody gives a shit what your purse looks like.

No dishes in the sink overnight.

Packages must be opened in the garage, next to the trash can.  Packaging materials do not come back into the house.

Every room has a dedicated pair of scissors and a dedicated box of tissues.

Nothing may stay on a surface longer than the time it is actively being used.  Lamps, boxes of tissues, flower arrangements, and scissors are exempt.





Monday, December 2, 2013

Words and pictures

Sooooo, what's been going on in The Cave lately?

I tie dyed some sheets for Coworker ML who moved back to the PacNW.  She likes octopussessessesss, and the color turquoise, so I ran with that theme.
Fitted sheet.  The rings look like suckers or fossil coral or droplets falling into water.  It's damn near impossible to photograph a fitted sheet without a mattress.
Sucker rings on the top sheet.
Sucker rings on the bottom of the pillowcase, fish bones on the top.
Gotta have something to wrap these sheets in... I wonder if I can tie-dye an octopus?
Oh, shit, no, that's creepy as hell.  It's District 9 meets Lovecraft.  Good execution, though.  Awful design.
Well, it's slightly less creepy.  Execution isn't as good, though.  Looks like an alien with a fancy fancy beard.  I gave this to her so she can make a throw pillow if she's feeling wacky.
Third time's the charm.  Nailed it!  The heart on the forehead is totally intentional, by the way.  >flexing<
Looks super cute wrapped, too.  The tentacles hug the present.  Awwww.  And yes, she cried when I gave this to her.


 What else?  It's been Home Improvement week in The Cave.

Got my dining set out of my tiny tiny kitchen and into my dining room.
Decided that the upholstery on the chairs was beyond awful, and the metal frames needed a paint job, so Mom took them apart.  I'm on wire-brush-and-paint duty.
Yes, I am ABSOLUTELY going to reupholster my dining chairs with this gloriously obnoxious fabric.  It matches EVERYTHING in my house.  EVERYTHING.
Including my front door.  Still needs a few more coats to be even, and to have the blue tape peeled off the glass and hardware.  But still.  Behr's "Delicious Berry."  Not bad, eh?
Lessee, what else? 

Got mah hurr did.
Made Spectra pretty for the holidays.
Designed a logo for my experimental camp for 7th and 8th graders this summer.
Kissed Kevin for a promotional email at work.  Kevin is the lizard.  Kevin is a girl.  Kevin was not amused.
Gave offerings to Geraldine the Destroyer, Eater of Parsley...
...and her minion, ManMan.  

I've actually been in a pretty good mood.  Way less stressed out and anxious.  Could it be because I have breathing room?  Could it be that my life is not a chaotic mess anymore?

Could it be that I have a fleece penguin outfit that I've been wearing pretty much constantly when I'm not at work?  IF I DON'T GO TO WORK I NEVER HAVE TO CHANGE OUT OF IT AHAHAHAHAHAAA