My navel is pretty deep, yo

So, hi.  What's up?  Tell me a story.

My story isn't very exciting lately.  My hair fantasies have been put on hold while money is re-assigned to various important pursuits.  I'm out of meds so I've been a scattered mess.  I've been very short with people lately.  I don't have enough left in me to be able to handle trivial inconveniences.

Mom says she's worried about me.  Good.  I'm worried about me, too.  I'm not very good at taking care of myself, apparently.

I got the green light to tear out the carpet in most of my house.  The idea nearly made me cry from relief.  Between the trapped allergens and the uncleanable animal-related filth, the carpet is a giant drain on finances and sanity.  I am replacing it with paper-bag flooring, which will be moppable.  Well, at least to a greater extent than carpet.  I wonder if my constant low-grade headache will go away.

I am going to try to finagle my way out of working on the Friday before Memorial Day and the Tuesday afterwards.  I think I can probably do what needs to be done in five days of feverish work.  I am mildly concerned about the financial aspect of it- PTO needs advanced notice, unless it's a sick day. This is technically healthcare-related- I'm always sick and cranky, removing the carpet will help alleviate that, right?  This is preventative medicine.  Surely my coworkers will understand how badly I need these two days.

There is a hummingbird nest in the jasmine on my porch.  The eggs have not hatched yet.  I cannot kill the jasmine (allergy, I hate it I hate it I hate it) until the wee birds have flown away.  It takes them at least 3 weeks to fledge.  I'm not sure how long the eggs have been there, but the momma bird is quite protective of them.  She's sitting out there now.

A friend tried to set me up with someone she met online.  This person lives several cities over, and the idea of it made me feel panicked.  I don't have any energy left for new people, and I don't have enough time in my day to even take care of myself.

I still don't have new work shoes.  I'm down to one wearable pair of pants.

I will feel better once my immediate surroundings no longer make me physically ill.

Hair

So, I decided that I needed more interesting plumage, and that I'd like my first stop to be white.  I was really blonde as a child, and I have been successful in making some of my hairs white before.

Granted, they were a little bit lavender here, but still.  They were super pale.  This was when I was 30?  I think?

Now, I'm not about to dump a bunch of peroxide and bleach on my head without doing some SCIENCE to find out where the line between "hair" and "rubbery pile of mess" should be drawn.

Fortunately, I have a (creepy, according to my best friend who was VERY squicked out that I do this) habit of collecting the ponytails from major haircuts.  

The fact that I own this, apparently, is creepy as hell.  I think it would be creepier if I was collecting OTHER people's ponytails.

Well, I saved the ponytail from my haircut in February, and decided that this was the optimal test subject to find out how much juice and time it would take to make my head icy.

I interrupt this narrative to interject a bit of hair history.

Now, last June I dyed my (virgin) hair with Manic Panic; Purple Haze and Raven.  It stained it a bit, and then washed out.  My hair was not prebleached, but the Raven (which is actually really dark turquoise) gave the back of my head a bit of a greenish cast for a very long time.

Exhibit B:  Purplish in the front, greenish in the back.

I had forgotten about this little haircolor adventure when I used this particular ponytail as my test subject.  I put little snippets of hair on bits of duct tape, mixed up different concentrations of bleach/peroxide, slapped it onto the samples, and let it sit in baggies for 50 minutes.  Upon washing and drying my science project, I discovered that the green dye was far more stubborn than anyone could have ever predicted.

Control, 10vol, 20vol, 30vol.  

Huh.  That was unexpected.

I bleached the samples again.  They stayed green, but now had a bit of a crispy feel to them, so I doused them in coconut oil and then conditioner.

That's downright seaweedy.

It's even weirder backlit.

I'm reasonably sure that none of the hair left on my head has ever seen the dye brush- it's pretty short.  Still, I'm disappointed that white-white seems to be out of my reach without absolutely destroying my hair.  I can probably get to really pale ginger, and that's it.

Today was my Younger Nephew's first birthday party.  After watching him smear cake on himself, I sat with Elder Nephew (who is almost 3) to play a little Haircolor Roulette.

Me:  "What color should my hair be?"

Him:  "Black!"

Me:  "Black?  Black hair is pretty, but don't you think I should have a bright color?"

Him:  >slightly confused look<

Me:  "It can be any color of the rainbow.  What color should my hair be?"

Him:  "Purple!"

The Heir has spoken.  And you can put purple on top of pale ginger.  I'll probably add some fuchsia, red, and bright orange somewhere, to give it a bit of interest.  Flamey, I think.  Maybe my temples.

Mom is coming over tomorrow for Mother's Day.  I am going to get her to help me abuse the shit out of my hair, and then we are going to have dinner.  I think I'll be ginger for a little while before trying color- maybe it'll suit me.  

If nothing ever changed, we'd have no butterflies.

The blackest of thumbs

So, I can kill plants really really well.  The only plants I can keep alive are succulents, because they seem to like neglect.  

In a fit of insanity, I decided I was going to grow food plants for the rabbits in my care.  They like things like basil and parsley, and I figured I could handle such a thing.

I have killed many many herbs, usually because I forget to water them.  Enter the SUB IRRIGATED PLANTER.

Here's where I learned about such a thing.

I drink an unhealthy amount of diet soda, so I switched to 2 liters for a while to gather materials.

My first attempt was a basil plant that the rabbits had eaten down to the nubs.

Sad, sad, sad.

So far, so good.  They have grown a few new leaves since being plopped into their soda bottles, so I am optimistic.

Pretty good for benign neglect.

Here's how it's done.

Get a 14 oz can of something and use it as a guide to make the cutting line on your soda bottle.

Like my photo studio?

Cut some V shaped vent holes in the top of the bottle (will be the dirt-holding part).

"CONSUMMATE VS!"

 Slice that sucker in half.

DO NOT CUT OFF YOUR FINGERS.

 Add a wick.  Mine's made of polyester batting material, because that's what I had.  Seems to work.

Cheap, too.

 Get some starter plants from Home Depot or Lowe's or Trader Joe's or something.  You could use seeds, but I'm way lazy about this.  If you use seeds, use potting mix instead of potting soil- it's more absorbent, and will allow the wicks to work better.

I need to divide these, but I didn't have any potting mix.

 Set your little plants in the sun.  Add water to the water reservoirs.  Refill the bases when the wick isn't touching the water anymore.  I went about a week and a half before having to refill the basils.

Damn, that's cute.

There are plans online for SIPs made from 5 gallon buckets and 18 gallon Rubbermaid totes, but I'm starting small, to see if I can keep herbs alive before I make much more of an investment.  So far, so good.  I'll keep ya posted.

Hate the "planted this thing in the recycling" look?  These things fit nicely into decorative containers.  LAZY GARDEN.

Words, no pictures

*  Geraldine's eye ulcer is back again.  I'm going to have to call the vet eye specialist and beg for charity.

*  The newly renovated bunnularium appears to be rabbit-approved.  I feel vindicated.  I knew I knew what I was doing.  Geraldine seems happy enough with her new digs to let me hang out and pet her ears, and Bunnyman has taken to lounging in the sunny parts like a dog.  I didn't know rabbits would lie on their sides, but he's been all splayed out and lazy the last few times I've been in there.  Nothing seems to be wrong with him- he's just chillin like a villain.

*  The rabbits ate all the basil plants in their newly-renovated bunnularium, but didn't touch the mint.  I have to repot the basil nubs to see if they'll come back.

*  I've been at work every day for 3 weeks straight.  I'm getting a little crabby about it, but I can't say anything.  I'm sure it's leaking out my pores, though.

*  The crabbiness has formed a painful, deep zit between my eyes.  That, or I'm growing a unicorn horn.

*  My construction project is so beautiful and sturdy that I'm now considering making myself some patio furniture out of 2x4s.  I'm not fond of the chairs around my fire cauldron, and Viking Roommate is far too large to safely sit in the sorts of plastic lawn chairs that I can afford.  2x4s are cheap, and I am careful and methodical enough to be able to make decent furniture.

*  I should probably do something about the plants out there, too.

*  I hate folding laundry.  "Dressing out of the pile" is disgraceful, I am an adult, I should fold this.

*  Gypsy shit in the hallway.  This usually means he's got mats somewhere that are making it difficult to walk.  He's inexplicably sticky, and he can't groom himself properly, so he gets big gnarly mats everywhere.  We gave him a bath.  We washed him with Dawn.  He is still sticky.  I have no idea which of his special personal health issues causes him to be so repulsive to the touch, but it sure as hell isn't anything in his environment.  He never leaves the porch.  This poor old man.  After being freed from some very awful knots, he tottered away and demanded food.  He's a peach.

*  Trixie just stepped in shit and pranced it through the living room and onto the couch.  This was as I was cleaning an exceptionally stinky rat cage.  I should probably take a walk before I lose my mind.

April eats lives.

Had Easter with a bunny.

Celebrated World Rat Day.

I turned 35.

I added new friends to my porch.

Continued to dye everything not nailed down.

Acres of fabric.

I dyed the universe.

And sewed it together.

And made cake toppers.

And shoes.

I dug a hole.  I had help. 

This was not the helper.

Neither was this.

I built a fence in front of the hole I dug.

Monthly Homework: Spring

Impulse buy.

Nature.

Mr. Bunnyman.

Breakfast.

Science and art in the name of lurve

Coworker ML is getting married in April.  It's a very DIY sort of wedding, and the whole office is helping out.  Coworker SF is officiating, Bosslady is doing the floral bits, and I am sewing vests and sashes for the wedding party.

Why sew them?

Because David's Bridal doesn't make tie dyed wedding gear.

There has been much science happening in my house.

First round.  Tried to set the dyes by microwaving them.  Almost caught fire.  The black is not dye.

Second try.  They're the biggest ones, and I haven't been able to reproduce the bottom pattern.

I started taking pictures of the tied versions, so I could remind myself what they ended up looking like.

The middle one from above.  Jeez, that black traveled EVERYWHERE.  Whoops.

The top one from two pictures ago.  That is some overly creepy black, and it looks like a dragon making kissyface.

The one on the left is the bottom one from three pictures ago.  Pattern is okay, but not a lot of color variation.  It's shown with first attempt (right) and second attempt (center).

A new dye recipe and a strange stitched fold.

Okay, the cobalt is a leeeeeeetle too aggressive.  Maybe I should dilute that.

Stitched tie and a new dye formulation.

Well, there's more color variation, at least... but it's sorta....patchy.

New dye formulation, same fold as the original orange ones.

Yeah, the cobalt needs to be diluted.

How much should I dilute these formulas?  SCIENCE WILL TELL ME.

New formula, tied-then-dried fabric, and a syringe to apply precise drops of dye.  What shall it look like?  I'll know in 12 hours.

I swear, I wear gloves.