Monday, February 25, 2013

Since last we spoke...

- I have become very well acquainted with rabbit eyes and the sorts of medications used to keep them from being pink and sticky and unhappy.

- I learned what happens when you try to do laundry while there are roots in the sewer main.

- I learned that a very small quantity of water from an overflowing toilet, although seemingly relatively clean, will make carpet smell like death three days later.  I also learned all the things that will not remove that smell.

- I learned that Seagrams wine coolers are as bad as you remember.  I also learned that dissolving cotton candy in said beverage does not improve them.  Not at all.

- I pulled a lot of weeds.

- I petted a pig.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Things you forget, plus time wasters

It's been a very long time since I've had short hair.  About a decade, actually- I whacked it all off when I started in the environmental ed field.  I had forgotten a few things about short hair.

I am very aware of the back of my neck.  I never wore my hair down when it was long, but I always had those little escapee hairs that never got long enough to scrape into the buns.  They are very very gone.  The air is TOUCHING ME.

The hairs on the back of my head don't actually grow towards the floor.  They kinda point...upwards?  I don't know if it's from years of being dragged onto the top of my head, or if I just naturally have Wolverine hair.  In any case, volume.

My hair is somewhat curly.  Not enough to do much, but it's not straight.  I had forgotten about that.  I took a curling iron to it today, just to see what would happen.  It's a HELL of a lot faster to curl hair that's only two-to-six inches long.  I'll be damned.  

I plan on seeing a bunch of doctors in the near future to see why it all started falling out.  I'm guessing some of it was traction alopecia, but that wouldn't account for my eyebrows or my eyelashes.  First stop, dermatologist.  Second stop, gynecologist.  I'm meeting my deductible this year, dammit.  All the other mammals in this house get medical care, it's my turn.

Until I get that sorted, I can't move on to Phase 2 or 3, which involves bleach and bright colors.  I must set free my inner poison-dart frog.  I am far too camouflaged.  Color scheme?  I think The Universe, only with less blue, more purple.  Blue does not play nice with my skin, for some reason.  It makes me look a little ill.  Maybe if it's not near my face... which is weird, because I look great in royal blue.

Not only do I love those colors, I also fully sign off on the sentiment expressed.  And I, too, will be "majestic as fuck."  Not that I'm not now, I will just be more so.

What else is happening around The Cave?

This app ate several hours of a gathering last night.  It's called Akinator- get the paid app, not the free one, or it's not as fun.  Viking Roommate had a bunch of friends over, and we all got sucked into this ridiculous thing.  It's essentially 20 questions against a computer, but on steroids.  We had a hard time coming up with characters that it COULDN'T guess.  To give you an idea of how hard this was- it got "Fanti and Mingo/Serenity,"
"The Polar Bear/Lost," 
"Old Man From Scene 24/Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 
"Veronica Franco/poetess," 
"Dogberry/Much Ado About Nothing,"
"Screech's Girlfriend/Saved By The Bell" 

and a whole bunch of really obscure Gundam-related characters that Viking is into.  Not only will it guess, it will tell you how many other people tried that particular character.  The lowest score we got was "Screech's Girlfriend" with 11.

 I think I won on stumping the machine- it did not get 
"Mr. Jacquel/American Gods," 
"Zombie-sniffing Dachsund/World War Z,"
"Bird Hat/Labyrinth," 
"Mustardseed/Midsummer Night's Dream." 
 In any case, I absolutely plan to use this thing to entertain kids this summer.  

Speaking of things that will suck you in-
Just go.  Watch the videos.  It's funny as hell. 

And this is unrelated to anything, but this image made me laugh till I snorted.  I feel like this most days.

Fruit bat, you speak the truth.