Saturday, October 29, 2011

It's the most wonderful tiiiiiime of the year

Halloween is my favorite holiday.  Every year, I go WAY OVERBOARD with the costume, especially considering that I don't really have anyplace to GO.  Most of my friends don't live around here, and the ones that do are all homebodies.  I went to a party thrown by my brother's friends, and I was there for approximately 3.5 hours.  

I still went all-out.  Wanna see my costume?
Here's what's under the white cloak.  My bathroom photo studio is fancy, no?

I'm a ghost.  Boo.  You scared?

How about now?  That's not Photoshop, those are creepy-ass white mesh lenses.  They make the world sort of foggy and blurry, like you're already 5 beers into the evening.  When I took them off halfway through the party, I immediately felt sober, just because everything was suddenly in focus.

I still have white makeup on my hands and on the front of my neck, I showered and scrubbed to no avail.  I'm pretty sure I can recycle the wig and the lenses into a Storm costume another year.  The cloak is homemade, and is made from white rayon that takes dyes like crazy, so I might try to do something else with it.  I don't have much call for a white cloak and a white dress.  Perhaps I'll get off the couch and do proper moon rituals one of these days, I imagine that would be good ritual wear...

I also decorate my house.  I showed the indoor pics a while ago, but the outdoor ones are cute, too.
My front porch.  The witch must have dissolved into liquidamber leaves and tingting grasses, leaving nothing but her shoes and a poor little frog.

The other side of my front porch.  The Roommate and I keep adding little treasures to this vignette.  It doesn't look the same day to day.  

His Filthiness, Gypsy, likes Halloween, as it goes well with his fur.  He was a little puzzled as to why he had to sit in the chair, though.  He doesn't understand photoshoots.

Trixie LaRue is better at photoshoots.  Here's her "Trixie or Treat" pose.  The treat goes in her mouth.  She's gone awfully grey in the snoot lately.

I will finish with a tale of woe and gore.  Well, maybe not gore.  Definitely discomfort, and some squidgey pics.

I threw a Ladies Night cocktail party for the people I work with.  No boys allowed.  This was mainly an excuse to clean the house and show off my decor.  Roommate came home with lovely little Xmas lights to festoon the porch with.  To keep the extension cord from becoming a trip hazard, I needed to hammer a nail into the overhang.  So I needed a hammer.  Which led me to my garage, which is piled high with old tools and whatnot.  Heaven forbid I actually ORGANIZE the workbench.  No, things just stack.

I reached in, pulled out the hammer... and also managed to knock a staple gun onto my foot.  An old, heavy, bricklike staple gun.  I said rude things, hissed, and went outside to nail up the extension cord.

Only then did I look down and notice that my foot was swelling.  A lot.

I peeled off my stripey tights and saw this.
Holy crap.  That's not good.  Is this going to stop?  Is it possible to die of internal bleeding... in the foot?

It eventually stopped getting bigger.  The next day, I gingerly laced it into my Docs and went limping off to work.  Bending my foot was a no-go, as it felt like squeezing a water balloon inside my flesh.  I did not photograph this, but it was swollen all the way through to the sole of my foot.  You could see the swelling from the bottom.  It was quite grotesque.

Here's what it looked like after a day of being confined to a boot.  I think it squeezed out some of the swelling.

Here's this morning.  I decided that I was not going to let a purple foot interfere with my annual Halloween pedicure.  I feel a little uncomfortable with the first two photos, as my toenails are unpainted and I feel really naked.  Some people can't leave the house without makeup- I can't handle unpainted toes.

I am going to document this bruise, because I imagine it's going to go through some really interesting colors as it heals.  Healing flesh amuses me.  Next month, for the Professeur's "no makeup" homework assignment, I'm posting the healing pics from my plastic surgery.  No makeup, and no dignity!  

I'm sure my fascination with swelling says something about my psyche, but I don't care to think about it.

Happy Halloween!  Pass out the good candy!  Don't be THAT HOUSE.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Product whore

So, in the last few weeks, I have purchased many many MANY things in order to create my Halloween costume (I'm going as a ghost, and it's not as simple as it sounds).  In the hopes that this might help anyone else, here are some product reviews.

For the record, I bought all these things.  I am not a corporate shill, I just like what I like.

Tarte EmphasEyes Inner Rim Liner:  RUBBISH.  Waxy and crumbly and weirdly pigmented.  I'm returning it in the morning.

Mehron Celebre Foundation in White:  PRETTY DAMN GOOD.  No weird smell, no lanolin (I'm allergic), nice smooth coverage.  I've had a splotch of it on my forearm for several hours, and it has yet to smear of, because of...

MUFE HD Microfinish Loose Powder in Translucent:  ALSO PRETTY DAMN GOOD.  Weird silky texture, no weird smell, no color at all, and it's keeping the foundation firmly locked upon my arm.

EcoTools Foundation Brush:  FANTASTIC.  I love EcoTools brushes.  They're cheap, they're quality, and they feel nice.  Screw MAC, I like these.  The handles are stubby, if you're into that sort of thing.  I am.

NYX Slide-on Pencil in Black:  GOOD FOR CERTAIN THINGS.  It's the holy grail of black pencils.  It's creamy, it's smooth, it's REALLY black, and it doesn't move once it's dry.  That said, it's not great in the waterline, as it moved around quite a bit on me.  Maybe your eyes are different.  Either way, it's BLAAAAAACK.

Costume Lenses from  I'M PRETTY HAPPY HERE, GUYS.  The "Dolly-eye Blues" are very opaque, very comfortable (I don't wear contacts, and this was my first experience with them, they might suck but I had no problems with them), and wildly unnatural looking.  Coworkers thought I looked creepy.  I have really small eyes to begin with, and once these monsters were in, I looked like a blue-eyed shark.  The "White-out Mesh" lenses are less comfortable, but still doable.  They obstruct a fair bit of your vision, so don't drive or operate heavy machinery while wearing them.  It's easier to see in a darkened room than in a light one, oddly enough.  Like looking through fog, but still a neat effect.  The shipping was free, and they were in my mailbox within a week, which is great, considering they came from England.

I am still test-running Maybelline's "Lasting Drama" Gel Eyeliner.  I am sitting around my house looking like a raccoon, trying to find the one black eyeliner that won't migrate off my waterline and into my eye. It, too, is REALLY black, and I have no complaints about the application.  Stay tuned.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Festive Attire

We have a pumpkin patch every year at my work.  It's a big ole thing, and this year I was the "grill manager."  Mostly, I was in charge of condiments and getting coworkers plates of food.  I am an apron kind of girl, so last year I made myself a festive vintage-style apron to wear at this event.
Here is what it looks like laid out on my office floor.  The original pattern had scallops that made it look very round and bubbly, but I decided to invert the scallops to make batwing shapes.  That should be easy, right?


There was a lot of math involved, and many paper mockups to make sure the proportions were right.  Let's not even get into what a pain in the ass it is to put seam tape on the edge of a batwing.  This is over and above the usual "I'm 5'11" and not rail-thin" pattern alterations that I had to make.

Whatever, it's still cute as hell.  Spiderwebs!  And this pin makes me ridiculously happy.

My socks are black with purple stripes, and each stripe has a lime-green spider on it.  EEEE!

I will state that I do not generally wear my hair down.  It is usually in two buns on top of my head, and today there were orange and purple flowers wrapped around each one.  The outfit, minus the apron, is fully typical.  It's sort of my uniform- long black skirt, black shirt, striped socks.

A kid said "you're dressed like a witch."
I replied, "No, I'm a witch and I'm dressed."

Monday, October 3, 2011


My poor, old iPhone has finally died.

It was inherited from my father, who gave it to me when he upgraded.  It replaced a pink Razr, which I still think was cute.

I am in no sort of financial situation to replace my phone, so I am basically unreachable.  I have a land line, but the only people who call me on it are my mother and telemarketers (7 so far today).

I very much want to play WordsWithFriends, but that's out.

I don't even know what time it is- all my watches have dead batteries.  I didn't realize how much I relied on my phone for some very basic things until it died.

I truly hope that Apple announces the iPhone 5 tomorrow, because it'll cause the price on the 3 and 4 to drop.  I get paid on Wednesday, and my mother is allowing me to pay off the money I owe her in installments.  She is a saint.

I am always very broke in October, and it's my favorite time of year.  I can't ever afford a damn thing when there are bats in every store.  I haven't worked out WHY I'm always destitute in October, but for the past few years, it's been the case.

Of course, all my problems are very first-world.  Boo hoo, I made my car payment twice and now I can't afford a new fancy phone.

The white rat, Lena, has a mammary tumor.  That's a real problem.  Fortunately, while I am responsible for her physical care, I am not financially responsible for her.  I can tend wounds, I cannot afford surgeries.

It's supposed to rain on Wednesday, that will probably make me feel better.