Monday, December 29, 2014

Not Really Resolutions

Hiiiiiiiii there.  What's happening?  You good?  Things okay?  How's the family?

It's almost 2015.  2014 wasn't awful (except that whole dog-cancer thing, that sucked).  I'm not chasing it out the door with a pitchfork like 2013.

That said, I felt a shift the other day.  The shift was made up of several smaller facets.

Facet One was actually registering the asexuality thing from a few weeks ago.  It was very freeing to realize how many things I no longer had to spend physical or mental energy on, because I don't care if anyone finds me sexually appealing or not.  Seriously, it was a long list.  It's a very hard feeling to describe.  I've rewritten this paragraph about fifteen times, and I have yet to be able to find words for it.

Facet Two was a similar realization about career and work.  I spend a lot of my time and energy doing things because they're my way of earning a living.  They are not things I would ever do if I wasn't getting paid for them.  They wear me out, and I don't have energy to pursue my own interests.  I am trading my life for money.  If I can figure out how to need less money… and in this mental state, I stumbled across a website that advocates generating wealth for early retirement through extreme frugality (  Usually, I only vaguely understand financial talk, but this particular website did not make my eyes cross or my head swim.  Perhaps I was in the exact right position to read this particular point of view because I had already been wrestling with

Facet Three, which was exhaustion from constantly bailing out my cluttered mess of a home.  I really like my house, and I like my stuff, but I'm absolutely overwhelmed.  I couldn't even emotionally handle bringing home leftovers from Xmas dinner, because it would involved bringing OBJECTS into the house, and I'm at critical mass.  One of the things I did get for Giftmas was a Barnes & Noble gift card, so I decided to go browse (I'm a Kindle devotee, because of the OBJECTS problem, but sometimes I just like to roam around a bookstore, even if I can't imagine actually buying something).  I stumbled across a book about hardcore tidying.  I flicked through it, put it back on the shelf, and went home, gift card unspent.  It nagged at me, though, so I purchased the Kindle version.  I ripped through it in about 2 hours.  Purge things that I do not love, in order to gain serenity and sanity?  And in doing so, perhaps become accustomed to the idea of having less- buying less- wanting less?

Facet Four involved ripping out a dead tree in my backyard.  There is a great big empty planter now that I intend to use to grow some sort of food plant in a straw bale.  Perhaps I'll make Zippy a fort out of the bale-planters, who knows.  Either way, I'm going to replace something I don't want with something I DO want.

Someone (probably many someones) once told me that you never say what you're NOT going to do, you say what you ARE going to do, because giving a name to the negative gives it power.

I am going to dress and behave in ways that make me happy.

I am going to spend money on things that I love, so that I may eventually spend all my time doing things to amuse myself.

I am going to surround myself only with objects that I love and want to be there.

I am going to build Zippy a strawberry plant fort.

Shall we saunter into 2K15?


  1. First of all, sorry about your bad year! I had some bad times too, let next year be better, thanks!

    I definitely have to have less stuff at the moment due to my much smaller living space, but I am planning to try and stop buying more stuff, including clothes, if I can! Or at least not many!

    I am definitely trying to learn about ways to live another way, I have this idea of growing my own vegetables, not buying stuff I don't need and only having to work part time instead of a 40-something hour workweek. (once I get work that is, as I am still unemployed). My parents lived simply, grew a lot of fruit and veg, didn't buy expensive clothes and lived very happily off one income with two children, so it is doable!

    1. Aww, this year wasn't the bad one. 2013 was the year from hell!

      I think there's a very large generational shift happening where everyone is starting to wonder what the hell we're trading our lives for.

  2. It seems like a lot of us are going through similar life-exploring times this year!! I wished we all lived closer so we could pool our resources and open a business we could all agree to work in and do what we want!!
    I will have a peek at that website though ;)

    *HUGS* to you and your babies ... and Frankie says hi to Zippy too - I think they'd be great buddies ;)


  3. I took a look at that hardcore tidying book ...looks interesting! I must say though, I'm still in downsizing mode which surprises even me. Every week another box or bag of stuff goes out the door. One thing that's not going out the door are my craft supplies. And books. Books are my downfall. And boots. At the moment, I'm feeling the need for another pair of black lace-up boots. At my age. Go figure.

    I like all your not-really-resolutions. :)

    1. She has some interesting things to say about tidying- the one that really strikes me is that none of us have ever really been taught HOW. I know for a fact that I never learned, and there wasn't an adult in my house who could have taught me!

      I'd be happy if I could find ONE pair of black lace up boots that fit.

    2. I bought the book, too, Tante, based on your post. It sits unread in a pile. But I will get to it, I will! I know I can purge some clothes books and momentos. But crafts supples will have to be pried from my cold dead hands.
      May we all have a good 2015 as we seek financial freedom!

  4. I just went on that Mr. Money Mustache and read the article about material desire. I feel like I have that mindset over half the time I think about wanting something, but it just never comes into practice-- I think this is in part to do with the fact it's crafting supplies, and while I don't technically need (say) more black velvet, I have often found myself in the middle of projects thinking "I thought I had more velvet?!". I know this isn't a valid argument, but it's the single most frustrating situation for an avid crafter.

    I have to thank you for that link, though. It added a little more clarity to my financial status.

    I shall also echo your sentiments on ridding things that you don't necessarily love-- my own problem is that I give sentimental value to things that I would otherwise never in my life buy, but because someone gave it to me it's suddenly really special and even though I'd never use/wear it, it needs to stay.

    I will raise my glass with you and welcome the new year... bring it on, man.

    1. I've had to put myself on a strict craft supply diet. Nothing comes in until several projects go out.

      The book has some specific thoughts about mementos and their proper purpose. She treats all objects very affectionately, even ones that are to be discarded, which is a different spin. I recommend the book, even if you don't plan to go whole hog on it.

  5. My life goal is to work less and live more. It may sound odd when I say I work and study at least 160 % (comparing to normals). Thanks for the moustache link, I collect frugality sites :-)