Thursday, January 2, 2014

Happy Gnu's Ears

Hello, darlings.  The holidays are over!  Hooray!  I am never sad to see them go.  As the hardest-core introvert anyone has ever met, I can honestly say that the holidays are my #1 drain on social-energy stores.  Between family stuff and the winter day camp at work, I have had to borrow against January's social energy supply.  Tomorrow is the last day of camp, and then I will probably hibernate all day Saturday.  I'm taking Monday off, then it's back into the fray.

Since we last spoke, I have had an exciting array of hair colors.  Only the first one was intentional.

This is primarily MP Shocking Blue, with a bit of MP Ultra Violet to purple it up.  The back was entirely blue.  And whose eyeballs are these?  They look very alien to me.  That is not what I look like when I look in the mirror.
The blues fade with every shower.  THIS is what I see when I look in the mirror.  Fear my mighty teeth.  FEAR.
Dude, what the hell?  How on earth did this happen?  Everyone else who uses those colors fades to grey.  I've managed to fade to highlighter pink and neon red.  The yellow bit is the part that I think has never been purple, only blue.  Still. If pink hair looked good on me, I'd be in business, because I would NEVER have to touch it up.

 Giftmas came and went.  I feel like I gave some really useful stuff this year- decent headphones, wine openers, towels, gift cards for booze.  I was given a cordless drill and an aromatherapy vaporizer and  some kitchen knives, which was fantastic.  
A coworker gave me a very appropriate beer koozy.  FYI, I swear.  A lot.
Trixie got a squeaky toy, and a light-up collar for night walks, and a bunch of tennis balls, and some cookies, and all the wrapping paper.  She also got to hang out with my brother-in-law's Boxer, and she behaved wonderfully.  It's making me think I need to find her a big live-in boyfriend.  I'd probably lose custody of the bed, though.  I'd have to sleep in the guest room.

 My car's battery shit the bed yesterday, so that was a fun way to start 2014.  Fortunately, this happened in my driveway, and I have alternative modes of transportation.  Only two (flat) miles to work!
Please note the rat carrier strapped to the crate full of baked goods and covered in plastic ferns.  There is a glittery bow on the back.  I AM AN ADULT.
Did some baking yesterday for Coworker AL's birthday.  He wouldn't specify what sort of birthday treat he wanted- and I have filled some really weird orders from coworkers before- so I went with the most ridiculous dessert I could feasibly produce…. behold, the Slutty Brownie (layer of chocolate chip cookie dough, Oreo cookie, brownie batter on top, baked in a muffin tin).  That'll teach you to let me choose your birthday treat. 
Coworker AL:  "I REGRET NOTHING."
Been spending quality time with these two idiots, as they need human interaction to keep from going full-feral.  I sit in their enclosure and read after the campers go home.  Occasionally I talk to them about what I'm reading.  They don't have much to say about the epidemic of unmotivated, adrift boys in our culture.  They had more to say over Xmas when I was reading a novel about Krampus battling Santa Claus.  They're Team Krampus.
What is this pose, guys?  You are weirdos.
 On New Year's Eve, after I hustled the last of my campers out the door and fed los dos conejos, I bought myself an embarrassingly large steak, a bunch of root vegetables, and a cupcake.  I ate all of it, walked the dog, and then set about building a fire to burn some hats that were abandoned in my house in November.  Lit the whole thing up, and then couldn't bring myself to do it.  Part of it was not wanting to burn possible synthetics in my fire pit, but mostly I didn't want to be the sort of person who burns personal objects.  I have no contact with the person who abandoned the hats, so I don't quite know what to do with them.  Oft-worn hats seem very… I don't know… vibrationally absorbent.  Any method of disposal seems like a hex.  I burned the last of my banishing powder instead.  Felt good to get that off of my Shelf of Important Treasures.  I don't intend to need banishing powder again.  Now I just need to figure out what to do with these damn hats.  

I was not sad to see 2013 go.  It was kind of a shit year.  Seriously, it just blew on every possible front.  I've decided that 2014 will be better (dead battery notwithstanding).  I've been in a pretty good mood since the middle of November, now I just have to go about repairing the damage done before I got my world straightened out.  And figuring out how to get the pink out of my hair.  I'm sure I'll figure that out eventually.

2014's motto.


12 comments:

  1. Haaha, hair colours are NEVER predictable ... mine react differently every time, depending on the condition of my hair. Sometimes purples turn blue, sometimes they fade to lavender. It's a mystery ... saying that, I'm pretty jealous that everything goes PINK for you, heh :P

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    1. I am a chemistry mystery. The irony is that the bit that I specifically dyed pink originally? Didn't stay pink. Turned yellow. I'm magical.

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  2. I hope your new year will be lot better than the last. You did the right thing not to burn those hats, it can release what the hats have absorbed. Just throw them in your scrap bin.
    That cake is marvellous! Looks very yummy :)

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    1. Yanno what's surprising about the cakes? Not sickeningly sweet. Pretty good, actually. And VERY heavy. Like little bricks.

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  3. Hah, I read "and then went about setting the building on fire..." Which wouldn't really have surprised me since the shittiness of 2013 was at an all time high.

    I love your slutty muffins, and might try them myself soon.

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    1. I can't burn it down, I don't want all my termites to be homeless!

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  4. hehehehe ... Gawds, you be awesome Ms. Pinky. HOLY MONKEY MOMMA'S MILK! Ooooo ... slutty muffins. MUST TRY. Happy New Year!

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    1. They're pretty damn good. HNY to you too!

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  5. give the hats away to homeless dudes? maybe it will imbue them with some positive karma?

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    1. They're kinda gross…. and I'd hate to add the stench of failure and uselessness to someone already down on their luck….

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  6. I like all the variations of the hair colours - and you do have fearsome teeth! When I open my mouth that wide, all you see is gold. Did you never get any cavities when you were a kid, Tante? :o)

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    1. I've had all sorts of dental work, but my dad is a dentist. All my fillings but one are the white kind, and we're going to replace the silver one with a porcelain crown soon. My mouth represents an astonishing amount of financial investment. Basically everything has been chopped and rotated!

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