Sunday, December 8, 2013

Cave Rules

Bras, underwear, and socks must all be bright colors.  This is to make it easier to find them in the pile of black clothes draped over the back of a chair.

Junk mail may pass over the threshold, and go no further.  There is a trash can next to the front door.  I don't care if it's tacky, so is junk mail on every flat surface of this house.

No switching purses.  That's how lipstick and inhalers disappear (4 months AWOL).  Nobody gives a shit what your purse looks like.

No dishes in the sink overnight.

Packages must be opened in the garage, next to the trash can.  Packaging materials do not come back into the house.

Every room has a dedicated pair of scissors and a dedicated box of tissues.

Nothing may stay on a surface longer than the time it is actively being used.  Lamps, boxes of tissues, flower arrangements, and scissors are exempt.





8 comments:

  1. You will never ever seek for the scissors again! Perfect!
    sharing the house with 5 untidy humans can be quite a challenge, I envy you a little.

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    1. I can imagine. Every time I visit my brother, and his kids are making a mess, he just looks tired. I am very grateful for my solitude. Although, the dog is currently throwing couch cushions around...

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  2. I'm with you on these rules ... except the bras and undies rule. :) I have tissue boxes in every main room and have scissors and scotch tape on every floor. My house is driving me nuts ATM because we're still not 100% unpacked or finished painting. And then the holidays have the audacity of coming when I'm not ready. Pfffttt!

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    1. Come on, pink bras and Halloween chonies make every day a party, even when everything else is standard work uniform. Not like I wear anything sheer or pale enough to worry about show through….
      I'm still unpacking, and I moved in in 2010. Sigh.

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  3. Dishes in the sink drive me crazy. Sit and relax for 10 minutes after Christmas dinner is over? No way, there are dishes to be washed and put away...

    I have one purse that I use until it wears out and then I buy another one.
    The point of switching purses to match the outfit has always been beyond me.

    Tissues in every room are a must for allergy sufferers. And people who need inhalers, probably. :o)

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    1. I hate doing dishes only slightly less than I hate doing laundry. There are things I don't mind doing, but dishes aint one of them.

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  4. My lair has similar rules. Scissors are a must. They're probably my favorite tool.

    I have tissues in every room -- including the basement, the garage and the walk-in bedroom closet. I am VERY particular about tissues (anyone with a nose like mine would be), thus I have a sub-rule: Tissues must be Puffs with Lotion in the stack-type box. Kleenex pop-up boxes are annoying because you can't tell when they're about to run out, and the lotion smells funny.

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    1. I am all for frighteningly specific sub-rules. I have some sub-rules about sponges and how the utensil drawer must be arranged.

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