Saturday, November 30, 2013

Back on the wagon

Welp, it happened.  I outfatted all my pants.

So many things converged all at once to make this happen.  A year of living with a dude who ate like a frat boy, and the stress of that dude and his disorder, and the stress of having my work life fall apart due to the stress of that dude and his disorder, and the evicting of the dude and his unfathomable mess, and the cat dying, and my house in shambles.... yeah, I decided to eat whatever the hell I wanted as a band-aid.  Boy, it shows.  I'm back up around 190 pounds.  25 pounds!  BOOOOO.

Don't get me wrong, kids, I am not about the body-shaming here.  I like the skinny, I like the chub, I like the pear shaped and apple shaped and hourglass shaped and the ruler shaped.  I like all y'all.  I'm not even particularly unhappy with the shape of me right now.  I'm just 10 pounds over the weight limit of any of my pants.

I hate pants shopping.  I hate it with the heat of a thousand dying suns (thanks, The Oatmeal).  I am just shy of six feet tall, and weirdly proportioned.  Big ole ironing board ass, no waist to speak of, beer gut, disproportionately long legs....

The pain of changing my eating habits (which is a substantial amount of pain) is less than the pain of trying to find pants that fit.

I gaze into a bowl of kale and spaghetti squash covered in marinara, instead of glorious pasta covered in something involving cheese.  I gaze at the pile of dishes in the kitchen that has been created from cooking all this vegetable shit.

Oh well.  I like vegetables.  Not super fond of maintenance cooking, but what the hell.

It beats buying pants.

7 comments:

  1. I'm patching the hell out of my last remaining pair of jeans that still fit, to avoid the pants shopping dilemma for as long as possible. My excuse for the weight gain being I didn't want to cook and mess up the stove while the house was on the market. I could  have ordered salads every time we ate out. But did I? No, I did not. Proper eating habits resume Tuesday - for a brief amount of time before the Christmas gluttony begins. :P

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    1. I'm running out of fabric to patch. If they were threadbare in spots, sure... but they're sort of uniformly threadbare. I dream of a world where I can buy clothes off the rack reliably. I don't even care if they're flattering.... I just want them to fit.

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  2. I hear you, I hate pants shopping too. Unlike you I'm a typical pear shape, and most pants I either can't get over my thighs, or they are too big at the waist. Sigh.
    I have solved the problem by only using soft tights and dresses. Something for you too look into? :)

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    1. I work outdoors with children. I've tried skirts and leggings, but the look really requires boots, and I have yet to find a pair that are comfortable enough to work in. Shoe shopping runs a close second to pants shopping in my world- my feet are wide, my heels are narrow, I require a lot of arch support, AND my feet are two different sizes. Oh well, at least I save money by never buying anything!

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  3. Almost any pain is less than the pain of trying to find pants that fit. Good luck with the vegetables and the cooking!

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    1. I swear, I need a tailor's dummy that is shaped like me. I can learn to make pants, dammit.

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  4. I've been pant shopping maybe a handful of times in my life-- I hated it, too.
    Thankfully I don't have to worry about it anymore since getting the hang of making them, or tweaking commercial patterns to make them fit properly

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