Sunday, September 22, 2013

Autumnal Equinox

Welp, it seems that we tilted again, and autumn is upon us here in the Northern Hemisphere.  I'm glad, summer wore me right the hell out.

I have a week of staff training at work, with a membership appreciation dinner in the middle, then a tie-dye party on Sunday, then a week off.  A week off!  Glorious!  I should spend the entire time working on my floor, but mostly I want to sleep like the dead.  If I work on my floor, I can have large sections of my house back, though.  And then I can think about the floor in my bedroom...

I am allergic to my carpet.  I have decided that my chronic headache is directly related to sleeping in a carpeted room.  Well, that, and the fact that Roommate is still here.  >drumming fingers<  I want my guest room and office back.

But my bedroom floor!  It will be pink and glittery, and I will paint my walls a bruised sort of pinky lavender, and it will just reek of girly shit in here.  The irony is that it always smells of sandalwood, which I don't consider very feminine, and there are animal bones in here.  Seriously.  My jewelry is hung up on deer antlers, and I can see at least 5 skulls from my bed, not to mention my gruesome little collection of bird feet.  And I have this ridiculous thing hanging over my bed.

It's a kite shaped like a bat.  He's wearing a scarf.

I'm trying to figure out how to make a French canopy that incorporates Mister Muffler Bat.  And isn't my wall color depressing?  I'm pretty sure it's "Navajo White."  Ugh, no, this isn't a prison.  And I need to replace my black bedspread, it's looking really shabby, and all my furniture is dark brown and it's overly cavelike in here.  Maybe a rose and plum and cherry red shibori coverlet?  And a blossom pink canopy?  Hmm.  

What else is going on?

While searching for the source of a bad smell, I made a discovery concerning my haircolor. 

In order to get this purple, I mix a bright pink and a bright blue, and my orange stripe is the same pink mixed with a bright yellow.


 It would seem that the pink is UV reactive, as is the yellow.

Teeth and eyeballs glow too, apparently. 

But only the real parts of my teeth- the parts made of acrylic bonding material go sort of grey.  This really highlights how huge my front teeth are compared to the rest of them.  If you squint at this picture, you can get a pretty good idea of what I'd look like without my little cosmetic enhancements.  My real laterals and incisors are very short and nubby compared to my enormous, rodentlike primaries.

Boris had to investigate this claim.
LOOKS LIKE HUMAN TEEF TO ME.  



4 comments:

  1. What is that guy still doing at your house? Counting and ironing the money he owes you? Just kick him out already!

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    1. I'm hoping that he's been working like a fiend in order to pay for a security deposit somewhere else. This is part of the problem- the sheer VOLUME of shit to kick out. It's gonna take a while.

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    2. It doesn't have to. The next time he leaves the house, get a friend to help you out and just throw all his shit out on the curb, change the locks - et voilà!

      You don't owe him anything, while he owes you everything. You could even call the cops on him. Every minute he stays on is another headache and gray hair on your part. And the anxiety - NO-ONE is worth that.

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    3. I should post a photo of the ridiculous amount of crap he's got. It's like a packrat nest. Seriously, imagine a 12x12 room, with an 8 foot ceiling, that you have to climb into like a cockpit. If you are not at least 6 feet tall, your legs are not long enough to physically climb into the footprint holes to lead you to the workspaces. It's absolutely unreal, and this is coming from a person who has more shit in her house than you can imagine.

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