Sunday, February 3, 2013

Things you forget, plus time wasters

It's been a very long time since I've had short hair.  About a decade, actually- I whacked it all off when I started in the environmental ed field.  I had forgotten a few things about short hair.

I am very aware of the back of my neck.  I never wore my hair down when it was long, but I always had those little escapee hairs that never got long enough to scrape into the buns.  They are very very gone.  The air is TOUCHING ME.

The hairs on the back of my head don't actually grow towards the floor.  They kinda point...upwards?  I don't know if it's from years of being dragged onto the top of my head, or if I just naturally have Wolverine hair.  In any case, volume.

My hair is somewhat curly.  Not enough to do much, but it's not straight.  I had forgotten about that.  I took a curling iron to it today, just to see what would happen.  It's a HELL of a lot faster to curl hair that's only two-to-six inches long.  I'll be damned.  

I plan on seeing a bunch of doctors in the near future to see why it all started falling out.  I'm guessing some of it was traction alopecia, but that wouldn't account for my eyebrows or my eyelashes.  First stop, dermatologist.  Second stop, gynecologist.  I'm meeting my deductible this year, dammit.  All the other mammals in this house get medical care, it's my turn.

Until I get that sorted, I can't move on to Phase 2 or 3, which involves bleach and bright colors.  I must set free my inner poison-dart frog.  I am far too camouflaged.  Color scheme?  I think The Universe, only with less blue, more purple.  Blue does not play nice with my skin, for some reason.  It makes me look a little ill.  Maybe if it's not near my face... which is weird, because I look great in royal blue.

Not only do I love those colors, I also fully sign off on the sentiment expressed.  And I, too, will be "majestic as fuck."  Not that I'm not now, I will just be more so.

What else is happening around The Cave?

This app ate several hours of a gathering last night.  It's called Akinator- get the paid app, not the free one, or it's not as fun.  Viking Roommate had a bunch of friends over, and we all got sucked into this ridiculous thing.  It's essentially 20 questions against a computer, but on steroids.  We had a hard time coming up with characters that it COULDN'T guess.  To give you an idea of how hard this was- it got "Fanti and Mingo/Serenity,"
"The Polar Bear/Lost," 
"Old Man From Scene 24/Monty Python and the Holy Grail," 
"Veronica Franco/poetess," 
"Dogberry/Much Ado About Nothing,"
"Screech's Girlfriend/Saved By The Bell" 

and a whole bunch of really obscure Gundam-related characters that Viking is into.  Not only will it guess, it will tell you how many other people tried that particular character.  The lowest score we got was "Screech's Girlfriend" with 11.

 I think I won on stumping the machine- it did not get 
"Mr. Jacquel/American Gods," 
"Zombie-sniffing Dachsund/World War Z,"
"Bird Hat/Labyrinth," 
"Mustardseed/Midsummer Night's Dream." 
 In any case, I absolutely plan to use this thing to entertain kids this summer.  

Speaking of things that will suck you in-
Just go.  Watch the videos.  It's funny as hell. 

And this is unrelated to anything, but this image made me laugh till I snorted.  I feel like this most days.

Fruit bat, you speak the truth.


  1. I loved the Pulp Fiction video lol
    Also, that last photo is the single most cutest and funny picture I have seen this new year and much of last.

    And I want to see the universe in your hair.

    1. My boss is resigned to the notion that he has a technicolor employee.

  2. Those curls look awesome on you :)

    1. Thanks! I think they're easier to do than the straight smooth look- nobody has to know that the back doesn't look messed up on purpose!

  3. I LOVE YOUR HAIR! And I have to say, the color of the universe is a glorious color! I'm really looking forward to seeing your hair all tricked out -- it's going to be wild and gorgeous. And don't forget to add an endocrinologist into the mix because hair loss is an important sign of a thyroid condition ... among many others.

    Hugs to you, oh poison dart frog!

    1. My regular doc says my thyroid is fine- I remain skeptical. And I don't get to unleash the color until doctors see my hair in it's natural, undamaged state- lest they say "Oh, it's because you bleached the everliving hell out of it."

  4. Wow, you have an inner poison-dart frog ... that's way beyond awesome! Fruit bat - also superior! LOL

    1. And an inner dung beetle. And an inner bat. And an inner sloth. And an inner skunk. Why are all my inner creatures offputting?

  5. Natural Wolverine hair would be awesome! Hair falling out... not so awesome. Hope you're able to find some answers soon.

  6. My colleague was going bald above her neck. She took two months of stress leave and it grew back. I hope you find an answer soon. Can't wait till you dye your hair!