Monday, February 25, 2013

Since last we spoke...

- I have become very well acquainted with rabbit eyes and the sorts of medications used to keep them from being pink and sticky and unhappy.

- I learned what happens when you try to do laundry while there are roots in the sewer main.

- I learned that a very small quantity of water from an overflowing toilet, although seemingly relatively clean, will make carpet smell like death three days later.  I also learned all the things that will not remove that smell.

- I learned that Seagrams wine coolers are as bad as you remember.  I also learned that dissolving cotton candy in said beverage does not improve them.  Not at all.

- I pulled a lot of weeds.

- I petted a pig.


  1. I'll say one thing, at least there's no lack of events in your life... though not as fun as it sometimes may be...

    I probably have a good idea, but dare I ask what really happens when there are roots in the sewer main during laundry time?

    1. When roots invade your sewer main, they decrease the diameter of the pipe. As such, water (and things in that water) cannot flow as easily into the sewer. When there are not a ton of roots, and the amount of water vacating your house is small (like the water from brushing your teeth, or perhaps flushing a toilet if it's low-flow), there is no real cause for alarm. Maybe your drains seem slow, but you might not even notice.

      When there are a lot of roots in your sewer main, and you do something that dumps a very large amount of water into the system in a very short period of time (like a load of towels), there is nowhere for the water to go, so it seeks the path of least resistance. In my house, that means backing up the entire pipeline and overflowing everything with a drain hole, beginning at the lowest point in the line, aka my toilet, followed by my shower, my roommate's shower, the dishwasher, and eventually the washer itself, which is in the garage. Whatever water was in the line ends up on whatever floor is nearest the exits.

      As all the toilets had been flushed and were not currently holding raw sewage, this was relatively painless- mop vinyl and tile and concrete floors with a little bleach water, open the windows, and call a plumber to roto-rooter the main line. Unfortunately, the overflow from my toilet was violent enough to get water on my bedroom carpet. It doesn't take a lot of toilet bacteria in carpet padding to make the whole house smell like sadness and dying. The problem was compounded by time- I thought I was smelling sewer gas coming from an empty p-trap in my bathroom, but couldn't pinpoint the source of the smell. By the time I figured out what it was, the carpet had several days to stew.

      I injected the carpet with the bacteria-enzyme culture I use to remove cat pee from carpet (it works, it's called 123 Odor Free and I am a hardcore fan), but it doesn't do anything for the mildew smell that is now replacing the sewage smell. I'm trying desperately to dry the carpet with heaters and fans and absorbent things. Perhaps I will prevail.

      In any case, I have to call the city and let them know that their stupid fricking parkway tree is invading my line. Good times!

  2. I always enjoy your posts and sense of humor :)

    1. If things in my life can't run smoothly, I can at least entertain. ;)

  3. Oh yeah, roots in the sewer line. Been there, done that. Although in our case the sewage only backed up in the basement, which had an unfinished cement floor. But it still needed a complete replacement of the line from the house to the city property line, to the tune of roughly $5000.

    I never would have thought of dissolving cotton candy in a wine cooler. Hmmmm.

    1. Dude, it's a terrible idea. Really. It's fun to watch it fizz, and then it's just misery. Of course, there's no improving a wine cooler....