Sunday, January 27, 2013

Hung ALL the way over.

I need adult supervision.

I have terrible decisionmaking skills.

I'm sweating vodka.  There is a vaguely Viking-shaped lump in his bedroom, and it moved, so I'm going to presume that he's alive.  The kitchen looks like a frat party.  I have spent the day holding very, very still.

So, that was fun.

Aside from drinking all the booze in the house, what's been going on this week?

On Monday I researched our local Native Americans, because we teach 3rd and 4th graders about them, and some of the things we say were sending up my red flags.  This research has dominated my week.

On Tuesday I took my dog to the vet for bloodwork, so she could have her teeth cleaned when they do the dental special in February.  The vet decided it needed to be done ASAP, and gave me the discount a week early.  The 6th graders from my mother's school came, and I taught many of her old students.  I did not tell them who I was, although I knew several of them through her stories.  At the end of the field trip (which I totally killed, because I like teaching older kids), I asked them if anyone had been in Mrs. So-and-so's class in 2nd grade, and asked them if I looked at all familiar (I look like my mother, and she keeps a picture of me on her desk).  I confirmed nothing, and told them to have a nice trip back to school.  Mysteries are fun.

On Wednesday I made Boston cream pie cupcakes for Bosslady's birthday.  I experimented with non-dairy milks (coconut and almond) because Coworker MS is lactose intolerant, and pudding and ganache are lactose bombs.  I discovered that you can make instant pudding and ganache with these things, but you have to use WAY less than you think you need.  The coconut milk makes everything overwhelmingly coconutty.

On Thursday, my dog got her teeth cleaned.  She smells less horrible now.  I got a great big fat discount, so that was fun.  We ate cupcakes at work.  I got a phone call from the owner of the company that made my old high school swim parka.  I had written him a letter (a real letter, with a stamp) to tell him that my parka was old enough to drink, and was still chugging along, and to thank him for making a product that was still keeping my butt warm two decades later.  I mentioned that when I have money again, I plan on ordering a new, all black version, so I can continue to be warm without looking like a macaw (my high school's colors were royal blue and gold, so this parka is fantastically ugly).  He was so tickled that he looked up my number, tracked me down, and offered to give me a new custom black parka free of charge.  What a nice guy!  This is why we're nice to people, kids!  Later, I got a call from a market research company who wants to give me $200 to test-drive cars on a Wednesday morning in February.  Thursday was a pretty sweet day.

On Friday, I taught in the rain.

On Saturday, I hung out briefly with Elder Nephew and my mom, and Elder Nephew told me all about some PBS show with a triangle and a circle who are birds.  I think.  He's not super understandable.  He gave me a headbutt as both a greeting and a farewell.  He's started to call me "Rushie."  My name is hard to say, apparently.  And then I came home and drank all the booze in the house.

The Viking-shaped lump has moved into the bathroom.  There are some rather violent vomiting noises echoing down the hall.

Yes, we ALL need adult supervision.


  1. A new black coat, dental discounts, cupcakes and $200 for a test drive - things are starting to look up! Other than the hangover, I guess ... :o(

    1. I know! I shoulda bought a lottery ticket.

  2. lol! Sorry you felt like crap, but you sure are entertaining for the rest of us. ;) Hope you are feeling all better!

    1. There's no point to the suffering if it can't also be funny.