Saturday, February 18, 2012

The side effects, and fear

I think the appetite suppression side effect of my medications has worn off.  Either that, or I have fallen back into the habit of eating at regular times.  In any case, I must now pay attention to what I am putting in my mouth.

I'm trying to find places where I can replace something heavily processed with something less-so.  I started having plain oatmeal in the mornings, with cinnamon.  It helps that I don't like packet oatmeal- I find it slimy- and it seems to be holding me until at least 11.  I also throw in a spoonful of peanut butter, for some fat and protein.  Maybe I should throw on a spoonful of flaxseed.  I still don't know what the hell else I want to eat, but I'm going with apples when I really can't make a decision.

I have come to the realization that I have binge triggers.  I discovered this when I went to visit my parents, and grazed like crazy.  I do not, apparently, keep these triggers in my own house.  Perhaps I am more aware of my body than I think I am.  Incidentally, trail mix will set off a pretty intense eating session.  It's just too easy.

I have worked a six-day week this week.  The animals are starting to punish me for it.  The dog has been terribly needy, and won't let me sit down without crawling all over me.  When she's not trying to get inside my skin like a tick, she's barking at nonexistent things.  She is getting walked, but she wants people around the house more often.

The cat has been excessively perky since clearing up his health issues, and has taken to clawing gently at the leather couch when he feels he needs something.  Mostly, he wants more food.  No, man, you're diabetic, you had your food, you can't just eat canned food all day.  His demands were not met again today, as I was trying to take a tiny nap on the couch after work (HOW DARE I?) so he waltzed into the corner of the living room and assumed the position.  I managed to stop him and swat him on his head before he started doing something unpleasant, and he hustled out the door.  I am exasperated, but also afraid.  Peeing in inappropriate places is often the first cloud in a thunderstorm of illness.

Camp is this week.  I have absolutely no backup, and I cannot call in sick.  I am chained to work, teaching, from 8-2 every day, at the absolute least.  I am also the animal care person this month, so I have 4 snakes, 4 frogs, 2 cockroaches, a tarantula, 2 rabbits, and 2 rats to take care of, beyond my regular teaching duties.  I cannot fob them off on anyone else.

One of the rats is going in on Monday morning to have a massive mammary tumor removed from her belly.  I have to take care of her, and keep her from chewing her staples out, because rats cannot wear a Cone of Shame.  They have no necks.

My mother cannot swoop in and help me with a possibly sick cat, because she is babysitting my nephew all week while my SiL is out of town and my brother is at work.  She is chained to her house for 9-11 hours every day.

Gypsy, you cannot be sick.  You cannot be angry with me.  Not this week.  I can't do it this week.  Please, don't start down this road.  You have gained weight, your dandruff is going away, and we are going to give you a bath tomorrow.  You are doing so well.  We cannot start this again.

I go back to work in approximately 30 hours, and I will be "done" on Thursday at 3.  We all need to get to Thursday at 3.

No comments:

Post a Comment